9 Jan 2018

Transition, Inside us

Transition periods are not easy for us, yet we all pass through it in our live. 
Some transitions are very fast, others can perdure years. 

Only 10 of 12 these books are to understand better some aspects of a project or Transitions in general.
William Bridges, in his book Transitions that I begun to read again, the yellow book between these ones from my Kindle, explains that there is an External Change we wanted or pushed on us, and an Internal Transition process that do not always go together. But either way, they are not so easy as it seemed to be from afar, even if we wanted them for long time. 

We did want a new baby! We have it now. We are happy to hold it in our arms. To nourish her. Happy with every smile! But... are we happy we can not sleep all night long? Can not go out? We should be more happy for this "new"! We need also to recognize our loss, with responsibility we lost some of our independence. 

We did not want a new education program! Or did we? Well, I waited for it for years to arrive, others just begin to hear about it. How do we react to the changes that arrive, depends on... It does not depend on the new baby! Not even on the new education program of Toastmasters! It depends, Bridges writes, at the beginning of his book, on what happened to us in our childhood, and how we reacted to something new when we were very young. 

Remember, what happened and how you felt and why. 

New brother arrived? Had to move away to another place? How did you act then and how did you felt? Did you have to change a city, a school? Some of our reactions depend on our association - we are not even aware of - with what happened then. Did it finish well or did it take very long to get used to? We have to be aware, not all reactions to what happens now, are only for what we see or feel now but mixed with old feelings.

I do remember that some changes saved my life. We fled in one hour from home when the Nazi troops entered Hungary in March 1944 and my father called us. We had to be very fast, we did leave very early morning, with the last train where the police did not yet look at our documents. The result is that I am still here, after all those years. 

Perhaps, it is why I decide fast and easy and bear the difficulty that arise from leaving, ending, and going through transition period toward something new decided. If only I could have taken with us Judith, my cousin and class mate with me, she would have reached 10 in her life and not be murdered, she would be with me now. Is it why I try to take as many as possible now "with me" on the Pathways way? 

The months after, were not easy for our family. Hidden, going from place to place, using another family name. I stayed mostly inside and without contact with other children for a whole year. Many time escaping last minute, because of a good willing pal of my father or my mothers intuition. I am here to tell. 

I have to be a lot more understanding with those finding different and numerous reasons to complain about the new education program. "You have to repeat Icebreaker again?" Well, I have more then happened in my life that I can tell in 4 to 6 minutes! Indeed. So much to tell! Each of us has more then a story to tell.

"The VPE has new tasks he did not sign up for" In many regions pathways did not roll even out and when it will, June arrives soon and by then, all VPE will know what they sign for. And in many ways, it will be less not more work, just different in some ways.

"There is a lot to print!" Then again, you can read and print a lot of projects, even if you do not chose to use this time in this path, and learn a lot! And you have the choice: which projects to begin with at this point of your life.

It does not really matter what part we are on, or what argument we use, what it matters is perhaps to understand what is inside us, why we do it. Why we protest or why we go easy with endings through transition and towards new beginnings. And understand and respect those who react differently then us. 

"Change is not easy, every change begins with a loss." Bridges explains that we always first loose something and for many it feels as a long morning, as if themselves or a part of themselves where left behind. 

While his book "Managing Transition" explains the changes form the point of view of Leaders and organizations, "Inform, inform, inform" his book "Transition" is about what happens inside us and why.

We Toastmasters, are now in a long transitions period that just begun last year and will last and last at least two more years. Some members will cling to what they knew "always" even if it was not there a few years back. Others, will want to go faster, discover what is new and plunge in it with delight. We should respect different decisions and recognize they are valid for each individual. 

And yes, I also have to read more of Bridges book, I am now re-reading it and only arrived at 1/4th of the Transitions book. I try to think about what he suggest and digest its advices. Remember, what and how my different Transitions went in my life.

I even realized in my own club, of which I am VPE, that once I recognize the right not to like what happens, those who protested most begin to change their attitude. Some more vehement against finally come to help me and went to become a member of a far away Pathways Club, ahead of time. What has changed her opinion? How it happened? Perhaps, the first step was my recognizing her right not to be happy about it! Not pushing. 

Enticing only, giving panels about Pathways in our club. Offering also Panels about what they knew a lot better then me; in our club about zoom. Admiring their knowledge, thanking them when I finally was also converted to it.

In my Witty Storytellers Online Toastmasters club, by May when Pathways is supposed to arrive to us, it will find most of us, if not all 100% of us yet well on our paths. We are all dual members, and a few of us did volunteer to be Guide or Ambassador, Technical help or VPE to learn more and to help in other clubs and districts. We will be able even to help, other clubs to understand "how to." The club members all did in their time and pace, not because I pushed. I did believe all would profit, but it is more my example and passion and those in their other clubs, then what I said to them. 

It is in the Pathways Discussion Forum that I see with my heart aching, a few vehement toastmasters that search and find something to complain about, day after day. 

They are few but they are more active then those who like who love Pathways and go ahead and progress and help many others to understand. I can not go and ask them "what happened when you were young?" it would not be "appropriate". But this is my personal blog, my personal post, and at least I can write about it here. 

And yes, some would again answer me "you can not sell me with your bad English". Ok, it is as good only as can be a 4th language, it is mine and I embrace it as it is. I do feel bad when I am put down, as any of you would, but it does not stop me on my road. 

Thank you all to coming back and read me after all. Now I have passed 30 000 visits!

Understand, that some of us become Early Adapters because what happened to us long time ago. Even after many disappointments, some of us do not stop to like new things. In my young years I was convinced in things I come not to believe in later, but I was never regretted, for example, believing in the Personal Computer Revolution very early. It went faster and it still continues to today, even when it goes with a speed I can not catch any more as my grand children do. 

I did have some problems to understand how to use the Pathways User Interface, this spring, and I hope sooner instead of later they will be corrected, but my life changed to better from April when I got into it. My life become so much more colorful now then it was a few month back!


Coach Carole said...

Julie, I was inspired with your post about Transitions and the way we as Toastmasters approach them. Much of what we do and say is based on our belief systems, values, morals and past experiences. Yes, there are different types of transitions in our lives and those that trigger our emotional intelligence reactions are the ones that will have lasting impact. Keep doing what you are doing in your blogs - your own authentic way of sharing your experiences as a Pathways Pioneer - and teach me how to bring more visitors to my blog please.
I have begun a new suite of Pages in my Blog at:
I am planning ahead to learn from the Pathways Elective project: Write a Compelling Blog and I need your help. (especially in Chapter 2 of my 'Voyage of a Pathways Guide' story)

Magda said...

Transitions are easier once one understand why it is and how it is going to affect you.
We are all geared to ask WIIIFM. Once we see benefit, we are ready to move on.
I am.

That is how I could move from one place to the next and even move countries.
I think most Online Toastmasters share this pioneering spirit.
We like to know what is around the next “corner.”

The analogy of having a baby is good.
In many ways Pathways is like a baby getting teeth and so are we the individual members.
At times some people may spit out the dummy or develop a fever.
It will all come to pass.

Your English is FAR better than my non-existent French.
Simple as that.
I respect you for your courage in writing this blog.
No Toastmaster should ever complain about your English as we as TM pride ourselves in creating a fail safe environment.
Yet, some forget it.
The mere fact that you have passed 30 000 visits is telling the story of your success!
I salute you, Julie.